Being “Busy” is Holding You Back

How many times have you heard someone use the excuse “I can’t, I’m too busy” or “I just don’t have time”? I am sure we have all caught ourselves using these excuses, and probably fairly often in our lives, but when you think about it, why are we so busy? And what makes us so busy that we can’t find time to do things that others who are just as busy, if not more, can?

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This is probably most common when it comes to relationships and dating, but when it becomes our go-to excuse to get out of doing things out of our routines, it can hold us back from personal growth in a way in which we don’t even realize is happening. Everyone is busy! Of course, there are days where we just cannot or do not want to fit another item on the agenda because we are just completely swamped, but that is not the busy I am talking about. It is the “busy” that surrounds our day to day lives that makes us feel like we don’t have time to take on anything new, such as start a new project, learn a new skill or even make a new friend. We all have times where we just don’t feel like doing something, and being busy is the easiest thing to say where others won’t question your excuse, but the more you do it, the more you fall into the routine of actually believing that you don’t have the time to do things and you create a habit of saying “no” to people and experiences.

Time Management

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When I was just out of college, all of my time went towards working full time, overtime, buying a house, having a relationship, making time for my family and friends, and trying to squeeze everything in so that I made time for everyone in my life. Busy, no doubt. At another point in my life I was not working but staying home with my 1 year old son while pregnant with my second. There just weren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish all of the things I wanted to, not to mention time for myself. Staying home with a child was extremely demanding and I looked back and felt like I had it so easy before, when I had no one to take care of everyday and had all of the time in the world to do what I wanted. Now, as a grad student with two kids, I look back again and think, “Wow, I had no idea what busy was”. It is so easy to look back and think about how it wasn’t really that hectic compared to what you are doing now, and that is because we survived that chapter of our lives and still made time to do more. Resilience builds up and we learn to manage our time so that we can do what we need to do and still have time to do what we want to
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Time is precious and everyone’s time is valuable. The important thing is to recognize that you are only too busy for the things you don’t want to make time for. If you care about something, you have to find the time to make it happen. Don’t believe that you are too busy to catch up with friends, take a trip, or go back to school. You will only set yourself up to miss out on something that could have been really fun or memorable, or even something that could have changed your path. There is a lot of power in taking control of our own time, and there are always ways to work smarter or faster to accomplish your goals. Here is a really helpful blog about time management that is definitely worth a read if you are looking to maximize the time in your day.

No Excuses

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We are all busy because we are all students, teachers, business owners, employees, volunteers, parents, friends, athletes, and all of the other roles we play every single day. Make the time to develop yourself personally, socially, physically, etc.  Text your friends back, show up to girl’s night, call your mom, do the things you have been meaning to do but didn’t make the time. Recognize the times when you don’t have to be trying to do a million things at once and just be present.

Be truthful to yourself about what your priorities are so that you don’t have to use “busy” as an excuse.”

My challenge to everyone is to try and go a full day without using the word “busy”! Be conscious of how and when you are using it and notice how often others use it too.

Traveling for Change

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Alright guys, I am taking my own advice and going way out of my comfort zone this week. A little over a month ago, a lovely classmate and friend, encouraged me to go to Australia with the Nevada Global Business program. I kept thinking about how amazing it would be, but had a feeling it wouldn’t happen because first off, I would be travelling by myself, or without my closest family members or friends, and second, I would be leaving my husband and two kids for two weeks which made me uncomfortable only because I knew I would miss them so much.  I had about a day to decide because the deadline was passing, so I just went for it and said, “Yes!”

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Tomorrow I leave for Australia, and although I am anxious and incredibly nervous, I know that travel is such a great way to open your eyes to different cultures and perspectives. Equally as important to me will be the confidence that I build from stepping out of my comfort zone. Sometimes I can get in my own head about what to expect, but the only thing I can do is really to just DO it. Then I will know that it isn’t as scary as I thought it would be and I’ll find that the benefits of my personal growth outweigh the temporary anxiety of stepping out of my bubble.
Traveling gives you confidence to know that you can cope with new and challenging situations, whether it is a language barrier, losing your luggage, or getting lost. Overcoming the unexpected is very rewarding and shows yourself that you are more than capable of finding solutions. I am going into this adventure with an open mind and I am hoping to learn more about myself and others by getting out of my usual environment for two whole weeks. Maybe that isn’t a big deal for some, but for me it is substantial!

Social media makes the world feel much smaller than it is, and according to Thomas Friedman’s The World is Flat, globalization will continue to shrink and flatten the world through insourcing and outsourcing, global supply chains, and the rise of digital and mobile technology. After my 18 hour flight, I will let you guys know if that feels true. Any tips on traveling around Sydney is greatly appreciated! I challenge everyone to say “Yes” this week to something that feels scary, or out of reach. You don’t have to travel around the world to grow yourself, but in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take. I’d also like to note that without my friend’s encouragement, there would be no way that I would have embarked on this adventure. So I urge everyone to find someone that pushes them out of their comfort zone and inspires you to be adventurous.

Building Self-Reliance Through Experience

Few things feel more amazing than accomplishing something on our own that we didn’t think was possible. Have you ever known someone who is really handy and can fix or figure out anything? Or maybe they are the kind of person that can travel on their own to unknown places almost fearlessly? Many of us would describe ourselves as self-reliant and open to learning new things, but in reality, self-reliance is diminishing.  We live in a time where we have such a vast amount of resources available that sometimes it may be easier or more convenient for someone else to do things for us. Life skills build on experiences that we have and people that we meet, while putting us in a position to better serve and help others who we care about.

How do we build self-reliance? It happens through investing in our own skills and abilities. It comes from asking questions and seeking out answers in new experiences. Comfort and stability drives us to maintain our lifestyles through day after day routines and habits. When a daily routine turns into monthly and yearly routines, it makes it harder and harder for us to step out of our comfort zones and try something new. The less that we make a conscious effort to make a change and continuously improve ourselves, we lose the confidence in our capacity to do something else; something better.

Through my own experiences of becoming a mom, a wife, a student and a professional, I have learned the powerful effects of breaking the habits that were holding me back from success. I used to be someone who made plans all the time. I would agree to any crazy idea that was thrown out there, and then when it came time to actually make it happen, I backed out. I loved the idea of going on adventurous trips and dreaming about what my life was going to be like in the future once I had accomplished something big, but I could never put it into action. I felt like I just didn’t have time, but later I realized that I was uncomfortable and afraid, and holding myself back. Growth can come from facing anxiety, discomfort and even pain, but overcoming those feelings once you have accomplished that new task is one of the best feelings in the world. The more new and uncomfortable experiences you have, you will gain the confidence to trust in your intuition and your own skills to shape your path for your future.

I hope to use my own experiences and new experiments along the way to help people find their paths and create new habits that lead to resilience, wellness, self-respect and confidence. Follow along with me as we explore baby steps to life changers in the world of self-improvement. Ask yourself, what if you could do more? We all have the capability to obtain what we need, especially happiness.